Why Women Should Not Change Identities After Marriage – Kemi Akindoju

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Actress Kemi Lala Akindoju has ignited a debate on social media about the tradition of women changing their surnames after marriage.

In a thought-provoking post on X, Akindoju questioned the fairness and scriptural backing of this age-old practice.

Nollywood actress Kemi Lala Akindoju has ignited a debate on social media by challenging the tradition of women adopting their husbands’ surname after marriage.

In a thought-provoking post on X, Akindoju asked about the fairness and religious justification for this practice.

Akindoju suggested that instead of women adopting their husbands’ last names, couples should merge their surnames, symbolising the union of “two becoming one.”

She expressed concerns about the overlook of women’s roles in childbirth and the automatic assignment of children to the man’s state of origin and surname.

The actress also criticised the societal expectation that girls should adapt to a new name and identity after marriage, while boys are not raised to expect a change in their identity.

Akindoju advocated for women’s freedom to choose whether to keep their maiden name, change it, or use a combination of both.

She wrote: “Honestly, if we really want to follow ‘2 shall become 1,’ the couple should merge both surnames. I still question the children automatically coming from the man’s state of origin, his surname, and the fact that the man “owns” the child. The whole thing messes with my head so much.

“Yet it’s the woman who physically goes through a life transforming process to birth the children. Yet, she’s relegated. I may not have the answers, but it troubles my entire being and I am yet to find the scripture that says the woman must take the man’s name.

“Scripture actually says the man cleaves to the woman (but what do i know). Most importantly, a woman should be allowed to choose. Whether she wants to change her name or not or compound it. It’s sha somehow that boys are never raised to think their identity will change.

She added: “But just because of a woman’s gender, she’s raised/socialized to know that she shouldn’t get too comfortable with a name and identity she’s known all her life. I don’t have the answers, but I strongly question this practice.”